10th Art's Review of 2006

A colleague at work recently said to me of this blog: “What’s the point in it? No-one gives a shit what you think anyway.” And he may well be right.

But that isn’t the point of 10th Art. In my job I rarely get to express my opinion. On this blog I can say whatever the feck I want. So bullshit aside, this is my Review of 2006.

Happy New Year.


10th ART'S GAMES OF THE YEAR

New Super Mario Bros (DS)
Perhaps it says something about me that the game I enjoyed most this year was unoriginal, unchallenging and boasts gameplay based in the 1990s. But despite its arguable faults, New Super Mario Bros is true classic Nintendo gold.
Admittedly, the ‘big Mario- small Mario’ gimmick was a bit naff, but every bit of every stage was crafted to perfection.
As immaculate in design as Super Mario Bros 3 (though not quite on a par with Super Mario World), NSMB is one of very few games I completed this year, and the only one I couldn’t put down until I’d achieved every last objective. Pure gaming genius, Miyamoto style – it doesn’t get any better.

Wii Sports (Wii)
Whilst its limited single player mode prevents it from stealing Mario’s crown, Wii Sports is amazing not only because it’s the most fun game of the year, but also because it will go on to become a truly landmark title in the history of gaming – it’s easily as important to the development of gaming as the likes of Tomb Raider, Super Mario Bros, Metal Gear Solid and Grand Theft Auto III. Its mass-market importance aside, the delicacy of control offered by Wii Sports is its greatest achievement, and one that should not be underestimated.

Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved (Xbox 360)
As pure a slice of gaming as you’re likely to find this decade. Geometry Wars still stands as the best title available on Xbox Live Arcade, proving that games don’t have to be complicated to make the most of next-gen power. The only annoying thing about it is that whilst it’s brilliant to watch whilst stoned you really need to be stone cold sober to stand any chance of a respectable high score.

Brain Training (DS)
Another example of Nintendo’s market-widening genius, Brain Training may appear limited but offers great rewards for extended play. The premise of voluntarily doing mental arithmetic every day may baffle some, but its accessible design is obvious to those who have delved deep into the inner delights of Brain Training.

Shadow of the Colossus (PS2)
Whilst it may have enjoyed the height of its media interest upon its US release last year, let’s not forget that Shadow of the Colossus was released in Europe this year. The perfect antidote to all those online Sony haters, SOTC proves that the Japanese platform holder remains one of the best innovators in the software market. No game has ever combined beauty, mystery, fantasy, solitude, love and despair in such a successful and spell binding way. Put simply – SOTC is one of the best games ever made.

Table Tennis (Xbox 360)
Another simple game? Bloody hell. But another winner, all the same. It makes sense to base new games on successful old ones, but rather than some piss-poor 3D re-imagining of an arcade classic a la publisher Rising Star, Rockstar’s re-working of Pong was as brilliant as the original. And it also featured a really annoying Swede – how many games can say that?

Tony Hawk’s Project 8 (Xbox 360)
There are few series in the world of gaming that needed a drastic reinvention as much as Tony Hawk’s. Despite being fundamentally the same as its predecessors, the introduction of the Matrix-esque ‘Nail the Trick’ mode makes a far bigger difference than it ought, and crowns this as the best Hawk’s game since Pro Skater 3.

Other notable mentions: Locoroco (PSP), Phoenix Wright (DS), FEAR (Xbox 360), Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter (Xbox 360), Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2007 (Xbox 360), Gears of War (Xbox 360), Just Cause (Xbox 360), Lego Star Wars II (Xbox 360), Fight Night Round 3 (Xbox 360), Every Extend Extra (PSP), Rainbow Six Vegas (Xbox 360)


MOST UNDER-RATED GAMES OF THE YEAR

Big Brain Academy (DS)
Whilst Dr Kawashima stole all the headlines, most people overlooked Nintendo’s tasty little sister title. Its kid-friendly moniker might have put off the weak minded, but even the greatest of intellects would struggle to get to grips with the harder challenges waiting to be tackled in Big Brain Academy. Despite the odd faeces-shaped leading character, BBA is a worthwhile alternative to Brain Traning, and not only because of the excellent multiplayer mode.

Amped 3 (Xbox 360)
A commercial flop and a critical non-event, Indie Built’s snowboarding sim gave me some of my heartiest gaming laughs this year. Built on the foundation of a very solid game, few titles can boast such levels of humour, art direction or overall presentation. And to think the studio has since been closed. A tragedy – but at least it bowed out on a high. With Amped 3 selling for next to nothing in the shops, do yourself a favour and check it out. And I hated Amped 1 and 2, so I’m not biased.

Battlefield 2 (Xbox 360)
Yes, the voice comms are fucked and people don’t work as a team etc. etc. yawn yawn… The point is that I played more of EA’s title online than the likes of Halo 2, Ghost Recon and Gears of War combined. It may have had faults, but EA’s shooter was so perfectly balanced and open-ended that it made up for the lack of variation boasted by the likes of Halo 2. And the single player was just about playable, too.

FIFA 07 (Xbox 360)
Whilst failing to better Konami’s broken PES6, the latest version of EA’s football title at last delivers on the company’s long-standing promise to bring the gameplay up to scratch. With a little work on the shooting, a tidier front end and some tweaking to the squad management, FIFA could have emerged as the best football game on the market. Seriously. Coming from an out and proud PES fanboy, that’s a hell of a statement.


MOST OVER-RATED GAMES OF THE YEAR

Tomb Raider: Legend (Xbox 360)
I simply don’t understand why people think this is good. It’s not. The raidering gumph is not bad, admittedly, but the combat is dreadful. I heard that scientists in Denmark have proved that it is actually physically impossible to play Legend for more than five minutes without wishing you were playing Prince of Persia instead. That’s a fact.

Dead Rising (Xbox 360)
Rarely has a game had as much potential as Capcom’s zombie title. And so many things about it were right. But why oh why oh why did Capcom feel obliged to doggedly stick to its age-old and long dated traditional play mechanics? The boss battles were all wrong, and the save system? Gay. The time limit thing just about works, but I’d still have preferred the game without it. I so wanted to like Dead Rising, too.

Far Cry Predator (Xbox 360)
All the things that made the PC original have long been lost following the franchise’s move to Camp Ubisoft. And for all the good the French publisher has done in the last few years, its cannibalisation of the Far Cry franchise is not one of them. But yes, the water did look very good.


CRIMES OF THE YEAR

Pro Evolution Soccer 6 (Xbox 360)
It took me a long long time to get used to PES5. Even longer than it took me to get used to PES4, and that took ages. And whilst I’ve only had a couple of months with PES6, I’m quite confident when I state that it’s a fundamentally broken game that I will not learn to love. That’s the problem with PES – it was once so perfect that all that subsequent sequels can ever achieve is to take it further from greatness. And it’s not even about all the missing modes on 360 either – it’s the flawed gameplay that finally shatters the PES magic. This game literally broke my heart.

Sonic the Hedgehog (Xbox 360)
Only my genuinely heart felt personal anguish at the hands of PES6 prevented Sonic from claiming his rightful crown of gaming villain of 2006. Had this game been Tak 4 or Ty the Tasmanian Tiger 3 I would have barely given it a moments notice, but to label this utterly catastrophic title with the Sonic the Hedgehog brand is a genuine crime against humanity. To give it the same name as the Megadrive original is paramount to the gassing of the Jews. Sonic Team – the worst fall from grace the games industry has ever seen.

Superman Returns (DS)
What is EA playing at? For all the good it’s achieved this year, it’s still liable to the occasional royal fuck up. As if the console version wasn’t bad enough, Superman on DS is possibly the worst game I’ve played this year. Awful controls, awful concept, awful visuals, awful loading times – yes, awful loading times on DS. A machine that uses cartridges. Everything about it is so utterly dreadful. Just thinking about it hurts me.

Gene Troopers (PS2)
I simply had to mention Playlogic’s loathsome sack of shite shooter as it not only crashed my PS2 but also wiped my memory card. I’d like to point out that I didn’t buy Gene Troopers – I’m not insane. It was sent to us at work and for some unfathomable reason I thought I’d give Playlogic the benefit of the doubt and give it a go. I was wrong.


GREAT GAMES OF 2006 THAT I'LL NEVER FIND TIME TO PLAY

Okami (PS2)
As much as the ‘games as art’ debate tends to spark off the worst in people, it’s a debate I’m always keen to get involved in. And if ever there was a game that proved gamings’ art pedigree, it’s Okami. Whilst Super Mario Bros might pioneer the art of design and GTAIII the art of gameplay, Okami is a champion of the visual arts. If only I could be arsed to play it.

Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii)
70 hours? Not a fucking chance. Especially when I still can’t find a fecking component cable for my Wii – the pasty visuals of the composite cable are highlighted all the more with Zelda. Not that it really matters, mind. What does matter is that the slow start has already put me off. Don’t get me wrong – if I could somehow conjure up two weeks of my life in which I could sit down and play the game from start to finish, I’m sure I’d adore it. But I can’t.

Killer 7 (GC)
I love games that dare to be different, and few are as different as Killer 7. However, all that bleepy dialogue, and those funny controls mean I will simply never be arsed to play Killer 7. Which is a shame.

Oblivion (Xbox 360)
Bethesda’s RPG clearly has much to offer, but there is something about the soulless entities that inhabit its world that continues to put me off resuming my current quest. Again, I’m sure given the time I could fall in love with the game, but something this deep needs proper dedication to really appreciate – and with a 5 month old daughter at home, that’s a big ask of any game.

Viva Pinata (Xbox 360)
I can see the quality of this title lurking beneath the surface. I can see myself loosing my life to its colourful delights, and I can see myself falling in love with Rare all over again. But it simply won’t happen. Having sat through the hour long tutorial a couple of weeks back, I can’t remember what I was supposed to be doing any more. Or how I’m supposed to do it. And I ain’t sitting through that tutorial again. So I guess I’ll have to miss out and instead go back to hating Rare and the dreadful Perfect Dark Zero.

Bully (PS2)
I know it shouldn’t matter, but after enjoying 12 months of 720p Xbox 360 glory, Canis Canem Edit looks simply dreadful. And even if the visuals were up to par, it’s still an ugly game set in an ugly setting populated by ugly people. But I’m sure it’s great – Rockstar are the masters of this sort of title, and I’m sure it contains remarkable depth that really rewards those dedicated enough to explore it. But I doubt I’ll ever know.


PERSONAL HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR

Jade Empire (Xbox)
Despite not being a 2006 title, Jade Empire joins only New Super Mario Bros and Amped 3 in the ‘games I completed this year’ club. And I’m not normally one for RPGs – I simply don’t have the time. The last one I completed would have been Panzer Dragoon Saga way back in 1942. But Jade Empire had me hooked from the off.
Great art direction, decent characters and a compelling, if slightly clichéd, plot made for one of the best gaming experiences I’ve had in absolutely ages.
And it was all contained in 15 sweet hours. Think that’s a bad thing? I disagree. Whilst Twilight Princess might offer good value for money, I know for a fact that I will never complete a 70-hour game. That sort of dedication is reserved for PES (though not this year). 15 hours, on the other hand, is a nice manageable amount that I can get my head around. And the mid-game cameo from John Cleese stands out as my single best highlight of the year – genius.